Bill and Ben seem at first sight to be a typical couple, married with children Jenny and David and unmarried man-loving family friend Rona. Further developments show, however, that they are prone to situations of an increasingly bizarre nature, belying the ironic implications of the show's title. All 5 unreleased seasons of this classic BBC Comedy, aired from 1994 - 1999. Starring the late Gary Olsen (Ben Porter), Belinda Lang (Bill Porter), John Pickard (David Porter) & Clare Buckfield (Jenny Porter).
Episodes are as follows;
Season 4
Episode 1 - Parent Trap
Bill promises Jenny that she won't do anything embarrassing when meeting her latest boyfriend's parents; but some frozen cockroaches and an inflatable Pope intervene.
Episode 2 - Family Plot
In order to enjoy an evening without the TV, the radio and the stereo, Bill disposes of the fuse wire. Then the troubles really start.
Episode 3 - Fortuosity
Bill receives a chain letter threatening dire bad luck if not continued. Against Ben's wishes she tears it up, and unlikely events begin occurring. When another four copies of the letter arrive, suspicion falls upon Rona causing an argument. Meanwhile, Ben is about to jump out of an aeroplane on his very first parachute jump.
Episode 4 - Curiosity killed the Cat
Bill is sick in bed and worried sick about what's going on outside her bedroom. Ben is looking after the Grimes's cat during their latest holiday, and its imperative nothing happens to it. Then it wanders out of the house. And just what is Rona up to as viewed through Bill's telescope?
Episode 5 - Frenzy
Bill's new kitchen is finished at last. But she is too busy working in it to deal with Jenny's problems with a well-developed rival at the school show. Rona's baby making attempts have now become so strange that Tony is planning to leave. The discovery by Bill and Rona of two escaped cobras trapping them in the living room gives them time to consider their lives. The Bill spots something out of the window that will alter everything.
Episode 6 - You Only Live Twice
The house is on fire. After the fire brigade leave, Bill realizes that she has a second chance to sort out her life. Meanwhile, Rona has suggested to Tony that he stays whether or not they have a baby. But starting afresh is not as easy at it sounds.
Episode 7 - Relax-ay-voo (Christmas Special)
Season 5
Episode 1 - Greed
The Porter family spend the entire evening arguing about how to spend the lottery money if they won.
Episode 2 - We'd Like to Know a Little Bit More About You for our Files
Just where was David when he was presumed to be in bed asleep? Discovering a piece of paper with a cryptic clue while out looking for a warehouse in which to continue her business, Bill begins to follow a trail which ultimately leads to some surprising answers.
Episode 3 - The Deep
Looking after the Grimes's house now that they have no more pets to worry about can't cause Bill and Ben any problems ... can it?
Episode 4 - Mayday
Bank Holiday Monday is complicated by the arrival of Jenny's boyfriend's grandmother to meet the family or a prospective grand daughter-in-law. There's just one thing Jenny forgot to tell them: she's German.
Episode 5 - Seven Dials
David's performance at the school acting competition relies upon both parents being in the audience to support him. But Bill, still on the lookout for a suitable warehouse has stumbled into a most peculiar place, and Ben has foolishly aroused the ire of his arch enemy Jake Klinger, waking up in a strangely familiar village ...
Episode 6 - The Truth Is out There
Rona is in danger of losing her house unless her late Mother manifests herself somehow, amid Ben and David's pathetic attempts at psychical research. Against all expectations, Rona discovers she is not alone after all.
Episode 7 - Porky's (Christmas Special)
Season 6
Episode 1 - Dog Day Afternoon
With nothing to do on a Saturday afternoon, Bill and Rona compete with Ben and David to solve Jenny's latest boyfriend problems. But the contest gets rather out of hand.
Episode 2 - The Lady Vanishes
On a spooky Halloween evening, the Porters consider the implications of the disappearance of Mrs. Crudaal, their next door neighbour, and the delivery of a rather large box to the same address. The appearance of bats, a power cut and a lightning storm lead them to a horrifying conclusion.
Episode 3 - Vertigo
Bill's Aunt Belle, now living in a tower block is the unwitting cause of an argument between Bill and Rona as to whether horoscopes come true or not. But only the outcome of a terrifying ordeal can prove it one way or the other.
Episode 4 - The Trouble with Harry
Bowing to Ben's longtime desire to have a family dog, Bill agrees against her better judgment to have an imaginary dog for a trial period. Unfortunately this novel concept totally runs away with itself until Bill's very sanity is questionable.
Episode 5 - The Man Who Knew Too Much
Ben's increasing dissatisfaction with imminent middle age results in his applying to join the exclusive plumber's society The Brotherhood of the Plunger. This eccentric and highly secretive society however, has some unusual conditions of membership, which even Jake Klinger claims to find bizarre.
Episode 6 - The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
While Ben's mid-life crisis increases, Bill is astonished to be left two items by a distant relation: a strange looking wardrobe and its contents, a genuine fur coat. Disapproving of the latter she is persuaded against her better judgment to wear it for a special reason-- only to find herself caught up in own most hideous nightmare.
Episode 7 - And Now the Screaming Starts
Ben is still missing and Rona has discovered something under a bush on a visit to the local hospital ... a baby. Bill is caught between these two crises as she attempts to solve them both.
Episode 8 - Two Years Before the Mast
Season 7
Episode 1 - Perfect Day
Ben's return home with a completely unsuitable replacement for the car results in the entire family progressively not speaking to each other, causing trouble for Rona's hopes of adoption.
Episode 2 - When Saturday Comes
When Bill innocently throws away Ben's "Lucky Underpants" she is forced to play along with Ben's notions of making his football team win for the next three Saturdays. Unfortunately that means the family doing exactly the same as they did on the morning of the first week- over and over.
Episode 3 - Malcolm X
The reappearance of Bill's ex-boyfriend Malcolm, as a made-good businessman from the USA coincides with Ben taking Bill for granted once too often. Things come to a head when she decides to take up Malcolm's offer of a weekend away together.
Episode 4 - The Sweet Hereafter
Having been identified by a Market Researcher as the Head of a Completely Average Family, Ben returns home with a box full of new products to test. But strangely, one of these, an innocent looking chocolate named a "Drool Bar" seems to have a worrying effect upon all who eat it.
Episode 5 - When did you Last See Your Father
Bette returns to the house to take Bill on their annual pilgrimage to her late husband's resting-place. This turns out to be not the crematorium as Bill had been told on previous occasions, but a freezer in a warehouse in Bermondsey. And, worse than that- the Cronics company has folded, meaning they have to take the frozen remains home with them.
Episode 6 - The Italian Job
Fabrizio, an Italian exchange student causes havoc when he descends upon the Porter Household. After many exasperating incidents, Bill is ready to let him have a piece of her mind. Unfortunately, Ben has just made a worrying discovery: the waiters at the Italian Restaurant have a photo of Fabrizio's Father on the wall- and they seem to be in awe and terror of him for some reason.
Episode 7 - The Heart Has its Reasons
Jenny finally departs for University. But a theft from Ben's van and the subsequent chase and aftermath bring a new occupant to the Porter Household- the homeless Declan.
Season 8
Episode 1 - Fame
Ben has put forward the Porter family for starring in a fly-on-the-wall documentary. But Bill is worried that it may prejudice their chances of fostering Declan, so during the screen test she sets out to make the experience an unpleasant one for all concerned.
Episode 2 - Enter the Dragon
Declan has arrived for a series of weekend stays, but unfortunately Bette has also come to stay in Jenny's vacant room. Her indulgence of Declan's behaviour causes a serious discipline problem- but how to get rid of her?
Episode 3 - Sticky Fingers
Jenny has brought home her new college boyfriend Keith for the weekend, and intends that they share a room. Ben hits upon the idea of making Keith too tired to do anything. Meanwhile, Bill and Rona attempt to tile the floor of their warehouse without remembering to open the windows to dissipate the glue fumes.
Episode 4 - After the Fox
In order to make a winning bid on a catering job, Bill is persuaded against her better judgement to take a trip to France to get cheaper booze. Unfortunately, Rona has accidently allowed a small dog to stowaway on the van. Except it isn't a dog.
Episode 5 - Carry on Screaming
Halloween, and Social Services report that Declan is to be fostered permanently with the Porters, but the appearance of Ben's long lost Uncle Lon reveals a secret about his missing Mother's family. But exactly what is it? Ben is forced to come to a horrifying conclusion.
Episode 6 - The Millennium Experience
Dismissing Ben's series of Millennium panics, Bill is determined to have an evening to remember together with all the family. But the surprise appearance of Tina forces events to take an unpleasant turn..
Supplied on 6 DVDs, recorded from digital tv, the quality of the set ( compared to a retail dvd) is Video 8.5 Audio 8.5 (Excellant!).
